Helpful Guidance to Manage Anxiety

Awareness That Heals, episode 117.

A very warm welcome to season three of awareness that heals where we have progressed to be able to focus on one challenging emotion at a time. This will allow you to choose a specific emotion that you’ve had challenges with, and each one will have a progressive series of guided meditations that will allow you to go deeper and deeper into self-compassion. For me, it’s truly inspiring because each emotion has unique nuances for both self-care and responding to your environment at the same time, this is subtle and a rare skill as all too often we don’t stay aware of how we can care for ourselves as we are. I hope that you’ll not only find it helpful but also give you deep resources that you can internalize when the emotion is most emerging.

(01:07)
When you or any of us are anxious, it’s so important to access the awareness that you are also the observer and have the potential to add the other capacities that this makes possible. And again, this is not just an intellectual awareness that we’re seeking. We’re looking at developing the capacity to dilute the anxiety that’s going to require you to eventually have some passion. Again, this is not really designed to just stay at an intellectual level, but of course, for some of you, being able to have it go to the intellect is a huge advance. So none of us are going to do well if we compare ourselves with others. The key is you starting where you are and recognizing that awareness or being the observer gives you the capacity to dilute your anxiety and notice it clearly and gives you opportunities to care for yourself and more. This gradually can become much more powerful than the anxiety itself. When I say this, I mean the observer can become much more powerful than your anxiety. In order for this to really happen, your inner tone of voice needs to be an upgrade from the anxiety. We’re not looking to have the anxiety be the voice that’s saying, oh, I’m anxious. The whole point is I can see that I’m anxious, and just that inner tone of voice shifting has a profound effect on the anxiety itself.

(03:21)
How much do you get that intellectually that the inner tone of voice is really a big part of this, and be careful to appreciate this and that your tone of voice inside you is just as important as your tone of voice outside you. So just take a couple of seconds. How aware am I of how I talk to myself and what my tone of voice sounds like? Again, reminding you, you are the observer and you can be very precise that I can see the anxiety and I can be very passionate in my awareness of this. This is the most underrated capacity that exists in our lives. That is being able to recognize that we are the observer and the one that wants to care for ourselves. You might say, I see you, I see you, and you aren’t all of me. Anxiety. I can see both you and there’s also another capacity to steer my attention. You also understand your aspiration for tolerating and accepting the anxiety and developing your capacity to take care of yourself, guide yourself, and ultimately welcome yourself. So now, please get ready for the guided meditation.

(05:03)
The observer realizes that, of course, I want to care for myself and just need to learn how to do this in the best way possible. Now for the next floor of our metaphorical elevator, which is asking questions to seek support for the anxiety. So ask yourself now what words or sentence or two would be most helpful to both accept your anxiety and to learn more about supporting yourself with questions? Think right now out loud. When you’re anxious, what words or sentence or two would be most helpful to both accept your anxiety and learn how to support yourself? What communications would be most helpful? What tone do I need to use both inwardly and outwardly? Can you see these heartfelt questions are going to help you move from the anxiety with the help of the observer to find what you need, and it’s going to give you guidance where you need to steer your attention.

(06:25)
Can you see, when you get angry with someone and haven’t found a way to communicate, or you are extra hurt or frightened because of the anxiety, you need to ask yourself, can you see that you are extra emotional because of the anxiety? Can you ask your mind and heart for extra caring and courage to support yourself with the anxiety, to relax and find the courage you need, perhaps to be assertive or to set a boundary When you’ve stated much more strongly with agitation, perhaps what you feel when you’re nervous, or you’re anxious than you again want to ask yourself, how can I redo that? How can I reapproach? Can you see the benefit of asking these questions to bring you from the anxiety toward some kind of peace or relaxation or trust? Or, lastly, not having an important conversation. Can you see that you might need to have an important conversation that you’ve been ignoring? Take notice and respond with gathering the courage to go into the conversation with a person that’s really important to you.

(07:53)
The reaction to avoiding your anxiety can lead to feeling stuck in the emotion like quicksand and then either judging yourself more or feeling more judged than you are being. Do you get this? So when you’re in this situation, when you have been avoiding your anxiety, and you see it again, you go, oh, I’m glad I can see it. It’s huge. Now I can see a direction I can go, so let yourself let in. When I’m anxious, I really want to ask questions from my heart that will ask, how can I care for myself and see if you can end this meditation with a prayer to yourself that I can remember, that I want to be aware, I want to care for myself, and I want to be able to ask questions from my heart that will support my life and those around me. Thanks so much for your quality attention.

(09:16)
The most important thing with these meditations is for you to be realistic and be in your awareness of where does this leave you? This is as important as the meditation itself may be even more important because where you are is sacred, and being able to tolerate where you are and accept where you are is going to guide you to your potential. Getting ahead of yourself is the same thing as getting behind yourself. Accepting yourself is the same thing as progressing. Thank you for your quality attention, and I hope this brings a really great quality of life for you and those around you.