It is important to understand that withdrawal is a form of withholding love, not just a reaction to our partner’s issues. When we stay focused on our own defenses, rather than the others, we have a chance for profound intimacy. (Taking a look at your own tendency to withdraw ask) Inquiry: When I withdraw, can I stay as a more stable witness to see my tendency to withhold love. Am I interested in acknowledging my withdrawal more openly and seeking to engage instead?