After more than 55 years of deeply exploring various spiritual and religious paths, I’ve come to see several significant gaps that appear in a large number of these approaches. This matters greatly, as for over half the world, spirituality and religion are the primary sources of core values, guidance, fulfillment, peace, and compassion. While these traditions offer profound inspiration and solace, they have also been, in my experience—and that of many close to me—a major source of disillusionment. This pattern seems to extend beyond my immediate circle to a broader group of seekers with similar experiences. For this reason, I believe it may be useful to clearly identify the missing elements in some of our most sacred teachings. I realize this might come across as bold or even presumptuous, but I’ve certainly been called worse. ☺
The first area that is evident is that teachers from all sources of Religion and Spirituality very rarely include their own personal challenges that they’re going through in present time or even recent past. I know this isn’t true for some teachers who are not very well known, however from the wide variety of well-known teachers, ministers and pastors it is close to an absolute truth. Through the years I have had the opportunity to approach approximately 50 teachers and ask, “Why is it that you have not included your greatest challenges you’re facing in life and used your teachings to help your students gain benefit from how you’ve applied them to your life? I have received three different answers, none of which were satisfying or made good sense to me.
The first response I often received was that this approach simply wasn’t how their teachers had taught them—it was a way of honoring the traditions they had inherited. I acknowledged that, especially if you trace the teachings back to figures like Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, or Moses. These individuals either lived in a time before psychological insight was widespread, or perhaps they had transcended the everyday human experience entirely. However, when I asked for a deeper explanation, most admitted they themselves wouldn’t claim to be enlightened or beyond the human condition. More often than not, they agreed it was a valid and worthwhile discussion that could lead to real benefit.
This opened up deeper conversations across spiritual traditions. We explored how withholding certain aspects of the human journey not only deprived students of potential insight but also created risks. One was the danger of idealizing a supposed endpoint of spiritual attainment—what is often called spiritual bypassing. Even more concerning was the tendency it encouraged in students to strive excessively, trying to appear more evolved than they truly were. The belief that one has “arrived” at compassion, mindfulness, or presence can be like handing them a sleeping pill—it halts further growth. These discussions were often rich and engaging, though only rarely did they lead to meaningful change in how teachings were shared.
The second most common reason given was that many students need to feel a sense of inspiration and hope that there is someone out there that has arrived at the desired or awakening. Returning to the dangers inherent in supporting both the premature transcendence of the human realm and the loss of learning this would create, also led to very little change.
The third most common response I encountered was, “It’s not about me—I don’t want to contaminate the teachings by being self-referential.” When I followed up by asking why they couldn’t simply say, “Even though this isn’t about me, I believe it might be helpful to share parts of my own humanness if it serves the students’ growth,” the reactions varied. Some agreed that this could be a valid and even powerful approach. Others expressed concern that teachers might misuse it, turning the focus onto themselves inappropriately.
In all three types of responses I’ve encountered—from honoring tradition, to avoiding psychological insight, to resisting personal disclosure—I’ve come to believe the motivations are often a blend of sincere misunderstanding and, perhaps, an unconscious need to maintain the persona of being more spiritually evolved than they actually are. When I’ve shared this perspective, it has typically led to either thoughtful appreciation or quiet defensiveness. Sometimes, teachers would reference moments when they had shared past habits or struggles in general terms. But when I asked whether they recognized the limitation of not addressing current, real-time challenges, the response was again mixed: some acknowledged the point with respect, while others resisted.
Another major limitation I’ve observed in both religious and spiritual communities is a tendency to focus on protecting or elevating their own group, rather than embracing all of humanity. The deeper call to inclusivity—to truly see all people as “God’s children”—is often overlooked. While there are exceptions, these typically come from those who are more willing to challenge tradition. One such voice is Richard Rohr, who expresses this beautifully in many ways, such as when he says, “You don’t have to be Christian, or even have heard of Jesus, to go to Heaven.”
Another area of significant loss of authority and positive influence is the limited amount of emphasis in the teachings of virtually all major religions is regarding having balance in relation to money. This is especially true in showing live examples of living in balance and addressing the importance to peace in our country and the world. I have asked numerous Pastors, Rabbis and ministers of all faiths why they don’t deal with America’s attachment to wealth, when it is evident that it is one of our countries greatest areas where we lack humility and compassion. There hasn’t been much receptivity although there is rarely a disagreement that has come from any of these conversations.
Bringing greater balance to the world’s religious traditions could significantly increase the potential for global peace and compassion. At our core, we all share a common yearning—to care for our families, to find peace, and to live meaningful lives. It’s also clear that not everyone has been given the same opportunities to achieve this. That’s why it’s essential that our spiritual teachings encourage us to reflect deeply on how we can serve both our own growth and the greater good. When guided by values of peace, love, and compassion, our actions can help create a more just and connected world for everyone.